TW: suicidal ideation

Today was a hard day. A person I care about required immediate intensive care for suicidal plans. I have mulled over and over what to speak on in this post. The last time this happened for them, I was inspired in the moment to begin a YouTube channel. I think I even created it and made the first video post introducing myself. But that was all I did. From my lengthy experience with severe mental health treatment, I have carried a deep passion and vision for changing the mental healthcare system. I don’t know how or when my impact in all of this will come to fruition, if ever. What I can do now is advocate and speak up in the midst of the way things work in today’s world.

Let me preface everything I am about to say with this statement: The most qualified and equipped people to provide guidance in effective change to the mental health system are ones who have needed the mental health system. Yes, even more than the doctors and therapists trained in all specialties and definitely more than politicians and policy makers. With that in mind, know that everything I have learned about how the system could work better came during a time when I was mentally ill, but was developed and fine-tuned when I was mentally well.

The best advice I can give to anyone facing a severe mental illness and their family and friends is to remember what you are fighting for and what you are fighting against. So often, when the disease takes over control, it seems as though we are fighting every tactic and justification and pleading of the person we love to get them help. Know this is far from the truth. You are fighting against the disease and fighting for the person locked inside. It is just at this very moment, your loved one has lost the ability to fight the disease any longer. We all have the same enemy, the disease. Too often, the desire to maintain control looks like the mentally ill person fighting against any help from family and like the family is fighting against the mentally ill person to strip away their freedom. If we do not step back and instead give in to this idea, this is when the disease thrives.

So what can we do? When emotions are at an all-time high, and words and actions are internalized by everyone involved? When a life is on the line? When we feel powerless? We can join together and turn our anger and frustration away from each other and place it all on the despicable monster, the disease. Take the power away from the disease! Tell all its secrets, lies, and manipulations! Expose it for what it is and deny it any more power. For a time, this has to be carried by the family and friends. Speak truth in love, maintain as much dignity and control as possible for the person suffering, and know when action must be taken. And trust in the body’s natural response to threat to life. Just as when we naturally fight to breathe when drowning, the body will fight for that last ditch step to save their life.

I realize much of what I said is conceptual and not practical. This practical guidance is what I hope to achieve into the future, and plan to shift gears this week. I will dedicate my blog posts to a beginner’s guide to inpatient psychiatric hospitalization this week. Please feel free to share with anyone you know could use this now or in the future.